Yay!!!!

On Tuesday, I was heading up to the Lisa's room to do lunch and found her in the hallway with another lady. Lisa was taking her first bite of green beans when I walked up to her and asked if she would like to go back to her room to finish. She replied..."I walked today, 3 times." I asked her "Three steps?" all excited! and she said, "NO, THREE times, back and forth on the parallel bars! "WHAT? No you didn't!"

Lisa's calm and half smile reply, "yes I did." At this, I am alittle wary of if she is confused or is just telling me something I want to hear. The Dr. came up and confirmed it! She walked about 8 feet! Now, we need to get her walking the hallways!

Karen told me that on Monday night, Lisa asked her "Karen, when am I going to get out of here?" Karen told her that "they are saying next week, but you need to get walking...you won't be able to go home until you can walk." Karen said that Lisa listened and understood and Karen then told her what a good job she was doing, to keep it up. Lisa told Karen that she was doing a good job too. Karen said that when she left, Lisa had a tear in her eye. Earlier that day the rehab Dr asked Karen how to get her going...what makes her tick?, so to speak...Karen told her lot's of praise and maybe candy...Karen will need to edit this, to come back to this post later so you get the exact story....

Getting back to Tuesday, I wheel Lisa down to her room and give her another hug, I am so flipping excited about this that I can't tell you how happy I am. Lisa had this huge smile on her face! She thanks me for coming and for getting her out of the hallway. "You're Welcome!" the pleasure is all mine! I talk to her about stuff and find her menu's on the table....She instructs me to fill them out, so she tells me what she wants, she knows it by heart now and does not have to listen to each choice. Last week, she had a hard time remembering the choices you just said. Big improvement!

She is back to her expletives!!!! LOL! Yes, they are offending, but she is back!!!!! Who am I to tell her not to talk that way? We are both adults, and we both can handle it:) She is so funny. PT came at 1:00 so I went down with her. She couldn't wait to show me how she can do the parallel bars. I get my stuff, but before we leave the room, she asked me, "Who gave me that "L" over there?" I told her it was from Aunt Vera, that she gave it to her when she was really sick, and that is why she doesn't remember...Lisa said, "That was sweet of Aunt Vera, I like it!"

Down in the gym, Lisa has 2 PT's working with her...She gets up to the bars and pulls herself up...and she concentrates really hard to get her balance...she's not going anywhere till she gets her balance...and will tell you that too:) They are so patient with her, and she is telling me to watch her! It brings back memories from when we were in gymnastics...Lisa loves to show off her abilities! I, of course have my camera and am clicking away. She is doing great! S.L.O.W. but great! Lisa sat down after her first pass and asked me twice" How did I do Karla?" Wonderful, Awesome, Unbelievable! I tell her. She gives me a high 5 and has this "accomplished" smile on her face. I can't describe it. When asked if she wants to do it again, she says, "yes, let's do it again...my sister wants to see me." She walked 2 more passes on the bars! She needs assistance with her R leg, to lock it and to prompt it to move but it is progress. Last week, she took a step and was done! When asked if she wanted to try again, she told them NO! But this week, she is determined to walk, she wants to get back to some kind of normalcy. As before, she is stubborn, when she has a mind to do something, she does it. Sometimes, that is not so good, but often, it has worked in her favor.

When she asked me 10 more times how she did, I was so excited and hugged her.I told her I am so proud of her! The PT  told me that this morning Lisa told her that her sisters will be "shocked" and we were! Well, I was...here I am thinkin' a few steps. During her passes on the bars, she was talking to them, and being opinionated and they all just smile...they didn't know her before, and told me that they love that she came out of her shell, it has been a month...they are finally seeing the Lisa that you can't help but love. All (the other therapists working in the gym) agreed that they will miss her when she leaves. I can honestly say, that Lisa will not miss the hospital, but she will miss them too. She is still inspiring people. This is still God's plan.

Lisa, I am learning more about life, and how to accomplish goals by watching you! You don't even know how much you inspire me and the rest of those who love you! You will walk again, because you tell me that...and that in itself is a miracle! I love you big sis!

Lost and Found

I lost these pictures on my computer and found them on the PC...these were taken in October for Chase's Bday...

She Loves Life

Hello are you wondering where we have been? It's been a busy June and I just cant believe that July 4th is just 1 week away. We have had baseball games and camps so by the time we get home and get the kids to bed it's past time for me to be in bed. Sorry about that.

It was Parker's 2nd Birthday Friday, I had a busy day, went to get Parker's 1st haircut that Grandpa has been asking for and he finally got one, of course it was not short enough for him but it was hard cut off all his curls. Then I went to Lisa's apartment to get her some sweatpants, so for some reason I looked in her refrigerator and was amazed at how much Dt. Pepsi was in the frig. I counted them 1 by 1 and I counted 91 bottles of 1 lt bottles of Dt. Pepsi.

I was cracking up myself as I sent the picture to a couple of people, I told them that it made me sad going into her apt. my friend Kathleen e-mailed and said for me not to be sad that she isn't! She loves life and as long as she has us in her life she is happy. So I thank her for that little reality check.

Then I went to see her after leaving her place to hang out with her, I told her that I wouldn't be able to help her at dinner time because Dalton had a game and it was Parker's b-day she said that would be fine tell him Happy Birthday. Lisa has the best attitude that most people in her situation would not have (I think) she truly is an inspiration and makes me stronger everyday.

Saturday I went in the morning, when I came in she was sleeping and Parker was being a little loud and that still didn't wake her, OT came in and said they were in earlier and she was to tired to work with so they let her sleep a little longer. I said it's time to get up it's 11:30 lets get to the shower, so we wheeled her down to the shower, Lisa is getting easier to transfer so that is making it a much easier process. When we her sisters are there she will do anything for us it seems like, we have a way of getting her going, sometimes the nurses and therapist just give in to her and let her be. We push Lisa cause we know she can do it. Like going to the bathroom has been a challenge, she is taking a long time just to pee and poop, sometimes it takes 15 min. to 1/2 hour to finally go and most time she does sometimes she doesn't, so it's back to 1 step at a time.

After her shower it was lunch time she is eating good it just takes a little long to get food on her fork and to her mouth, I noticed it's hard for her to see where the food on her plate is so that's why we like being there to make sure she's getting all the food she can eat. Then I took her to the bathroom and she went 1 and 2 how exciting it only took 15 min. yea for Lisa. Then I went to work and asked Dad if he could be there for Lisa at dinner time.

Dad and Delo went up, Delo helped her and said she ate very well, Dad called me from her room and said that Lisa was at Parkview Inn she was on her 2nd beer and Dad was not done with his first, I heard Lisa in the background saying DAD..... Dolores said that Lisa leaned forward in her chair holding her cell phone, made sure she could see Dad and threw her phone at him. She said it was so funny cause she really had to aim and make sure she could see him and got him a good one. I can see her laughing and hitting Dad. If you don't know Dad loves to get Lisa going and will do anything to get her going just to get a good laugh, so the old Lisa is coming back.

Lisa has been very happy the past couple of Days, it's so nice to see her happy makes me smile just thinking about it. Lisa is on her way like I said earlier, one step at a time.

You can leave anytime...

I go to see Lisa, usually everyday around lunch to make sure she gets to eat in her room. She is not one to sit in the hallway and have people watch her eat, people she doesn't know, and people who tell her to keep eating. I don't want that for her either.

When I got there today, she was just getting out of the shower. The resident neuro came up to check out her shunt...you can see it on her skull. (Lisa had her 20 staples taken out yesterday, and the 15 or so from the side of her tummy) He explained that it is where the valve is and that it is completely normal for her to have that ridge there. The OT brought her back to the room and when she was about ready to leave, I could tell that Lisa wanted to hug her, so Rita leaned over and gave Lisa a hug, while Lisa was hugging her she said, "thank you for helping me." Rita looked at her and told her, "Lisa, I like working with you." Lisa replied, "I like working with you too." Sweet.

Yesterday, when we were there and she was eating quietly...the room was quiet, no one was talking, and Lisa piped up and looked at me, as I was sitting next to her and she said, "You can leave anytime Karla."
me: "what?"
Lisa, "you can leave anytime"
me "do you want me to leave?"
Lisa "NO, you can leave whenever you want, I just wanted to tell you!"
me "well, I want to stay here with you...is that OK?"
Lisa "that is fine."

As I sit here and think about that I can take it one of two ways...she either really wanted me to leave OR she didn't want me to be bored...I am thinkin' it was the latter, she is sensitive about others. I think that she just wanted to give me the OK to leave, because she would be fine. I'm not sure about that one though. LOL!

Today, she had therapy one right after the other in the AM and the PM...She was tired, you could tell because she gets her head to one side and it doesn't want to hold itself up. I kept trying to remind her to hold her head straight, she didn't complain, just said she was tired. I wanted her to get some rest and to sleep before her PM sessions, or she would be no good. So, I got her into bed, just her and I. Well, let me just say, it was interesting. We got in bed just fine, I tried to have her help me with her good leg and arm to push up so her head would be closer to the head of the bed and her bottom would be in the crook where the bed sits straight up to eat...she looked at me and said, "I don't think you should have done this by yourself..." I laughed, trying to make light of her uncomfortable position, and told her, "yeah, I think you're right there Lisa." I stood in the hallway and waited for the nurse to come help me pull her up. When we did, she ate her lunch and I left her to sleep so she would have a good therapy afternoon.

She can stand up really good, there is improvement every single day. I can see it. She tells me that she has a bad leg and a bad arm. I tell her that it will come back and she tells me that she knows that. She has not given up, I don't think she has ever given up on anything, come to think of it. She just deals with whatever comes her way and just keeps going.

I have been with her a few times for her therapies, she was writing her name on the mirror with a dry erase marker, looking at herself sitting up and keeping her balance. That was hard for her earlier but is mastering that skill. She is able to copy simple objects on the mirror, like a sun, a house, connecting the dots. She feels great accomplishment when she does things, and she should. She is really doing well.

Her target date is July 9th, to get out of the hospital...from there she will need 24 hour care. We don't know where she will go, don't know our options, and really haven't been able to think about it. It is in the back of our minds all the time, but we will have some hard decisions to make in these next couple of weeks...please pray for us, and pray for Lisa to make a remarkable recovery.

Today

Amy was giving Lisa a much appreciated massage!

Today was good. It was raining buckets today when the girls
and I came to see Lisa. We parked and came in the back way and had to turn around and go back to the van and park in the parking garage, due to a large meeting that we about walked in to...the is the price you pay when you want to come in the conference room area...because it is way faster than walking a mile through the halls. We had our lunch in tow from Taco Bell and were planning to eat it with Lisa. We got to her room and she had no lunch yet! She was hungry! Let us know about it too. I gave her some of my soft taco and a tortilla chip and went to see where her lunch was. It finally came and she was happy that she was gonna eat, finally!

We did not have drinks...Sydney was thirsty and drank all of Lisa's water from the morning. She then asked Lisa if she could have a sip, a tiny sip, of her DP...no answer...I told Sydney, "uhhh, that would be a NO." Lisa smiled and then got this smirk on her face and said, "you can have the rest of that one." LOL. It was more than half empty, hot and flat...because she (Lisa)  just had a sip before her lunch came and we gave her the fresh one over ice. I laughed and Lisa said, "that is what she gets!" and kept eating her food. It was so funny...Sydney thought it was cute.

She said some funny things today, like she did before her stroke. She is doing pretty good. After she eats I take her to the bathroom. She sits on the toilet. She is able to transfer herself with little assistance, but still needs assistance. She only needs one person now, but it helps to have two. I ask her if she wants me in there with her, she doesn't care. So I sit there with her and talk about old times, like when she and I would wait til Mom, Amy and Karen, would take their afternoon nap and Lisa and I would go down to the dryer...yes, the dryer! We would take turns getting into the dryer and the other one would jump on top and turn it on so whoever was inside, would spin around...She totally remembers us doing that! LOL! When the one inside would say when, the other would open the door to stop the dryer and then it would be her turn. We did that alot...and never told my mom or dad...until years later when we got a new dryer...because the old one would not stay closed (it was a drop down door...easy for us to climb into) and we had to put the dishwasher in front of the door so clothes would dry. When we confessed, Lisa just laughed and told mom that it was true. Mom couldn't believe we did that. Lisa and I did the dryer thing often!

We have so many stories! So fun!

On Saturday, during our pizza fiasco party, Lisa was not able to write Happy Fathers Day, so I helped her...she tried for a very long time to think about how to write the letters. She wanted them to be different colors. As I wrote it, she dictated the next color to use. She wrote her name like this...double click the picture...interesting! 3 L's, 3 i's and s's and 1 a.

Lisa is coming back, the Lisa that we had before her stroke. It is hard to believe that only 2 weeks ago she was a miracle to be alive...I wonder how long it will take, I wonder what she thinks about. I wonder if she is angry. I wonder if she truly knows. I wonder if I will ever be the same...I don't think so. I see things much differently than I did even 2 weeks ago. Many things that I thought were important still are, but just not as important. I now understand my mother...she often told me that after Lisa became sick, she said that she would not relive her life through her children, and would let them be who they were and let them do what they wanted to do...not what she wanted them to be and do. Lesson {she} learned, and a lesson I am beginning to learn.

I wanted to thank those of you who have taken time out of your busy lives to see Lisa and to send her cards...people who are from the past and the ones who are in her present life. You all matter!
If and when you see her, give her a hug...she has this awesome look in her eyes, that comes from within, when she receives a hug. Priceless!

Pizza Party!!!

Amy called me from the hospital and told me that she and her family were visiting Lisa...told me that she heard that me and my family were coming with pizza and wanted to know if they could be invited and to bring more pizza! Well, the more the merrier I say! We ordered sausage per Lisa's request. We wheeled her down to a small waiting room, which was smaller than her room, but she didn't eat in the same 4 walls...a welcome change I'm sure. She was happy and enjoyed her pizza. She listened to our conversations and loudness that 5 kids and 4 additional adults make. She tried to listen to Wheel of Fortune, but could not concentrate. Who could? We were quite the lively group.

We have some major decisions to make in these next few weeks. I will write about them later. Please keep us in your prayers...Lisa could use some prayers for full recovery in all areas...She has some major obstacles to overcome, she has done that before, she can do it again. It is just a miracle that she is still here, and I need to keep that in check!

It stinks...

Lisa is doing better. I went in today and yesterday. Progress is slow, but she is making progress. Sydney, Michele and I came in when it was about time for speech. I noticed how old, (1985) the cards are for her speech therapy...not at all up to date, so we will fix that one! We are going to take pictures of  simple, ordinary objects, like a chair, fan, microwave, people she knows...so the ST can talk about it with her. That will help her with thinking things through. She has lost some cognitive skills that she once had. Hopefully she will get it back. Joe walked into the room and started talking to her. He said something smart alec to her, he was standing in front of her and she kicked him a good one with her good leg...had a smile on her face for about 3 minutes afterward. Funny.

She stood up for over 6 minutes yesterday and eight today. We got her to not think about it by giving each of us a standing hug. She hugged, me, Joe, Sydney and Michele. She had a huge smile. She wheeled herself with one hand half way down the hall. She really is doing more than some people would. It is just not to where I hoped she would be at this point. She will though, in her own time.

Today I came in and found her laying down. She was not in a good mood. I suppose she just hadn't been up and was tired from not doing much. I sat beside her for a long time while she slept. She is peaceful. She is not angry or upset. When I talked to her about her stroke, she said "it stinks...it sucks" Yes, I agree with her on that one 100%!

She had PT before lunch today, she bore weight on both her right and left feet, shifting weight from one foot to the other. She did very well. She likes to stand, is just fearful that she will fall, I think. The PT did say that she is able to position her body well and is encouraged by her muscles and wanting to learn.

Lisa's vision is another story. We don't know what she can see. Her left eye is completely shut. I see eye lid movement, but she is not able to keep it open herself. She tears up in that eye. I have asked her if she is crying, she doesn't say anything. She did tell me that her eye hurts. When I asked her if it was the eye that tears up, she pointed to her open eye...so I don't know. I had an eye dr appt and just asked my Dr if she knew anything about vision in stroke patients. She does. I told her alittle about Lisa and she told me that Lisa needs to be evaluated by Tuesday. I didn't think to ask why? Helllllooooo? I don't know why. But she told me that if noone will do it, to call her. It must be important. I talked to the nurses about it today, while Lisa was snoozing...they had never heard of it before, but her nurse got right on it and went through the proper protcol and phone calls. Hopefully they can do an eval. Lisa's eyes are not really looking at you, but she knows what colors you are wearing and knows who you are, but that may be by your voice. I wish I knew.

Lisa is still in there, she is more mellow and less opinionated than she was...Her expletives are not voiced, but she probably thinks them more than ever...but then again, maybe not. If it were me...I can't say I would be the same way.

She reminds me of mom. Mom was so sweet and was so appreciative when someone did something for her. Especially when she could not do something for herself. I called Karen while I was there to help with lunch. Karen told me to ask Lisa if she missed her and her answer? "I always do!" Sweet.

She has received room spray for her room...smells heavenly! Lisa loves different smells, she is loving her cards and expressed how many she has, Michele counted...158 so far. We really do read each and every one of them to her, and she has touched them and looked at them. Tomorrow night, Lisa will eat Tobin's pizza...she is looking forward to it. I told her we, Joe, the kids and I, will bring it and will eat somewhere other than her room...she suggested the cafeteria...I think if the weather is nice, we will find someplace outside. She replied, "that would be nice" She hasn't seen the outside for a month now...it is hard to believe and it is sometimes hard to swallow.

Visitors

Flowers are from Lisa Work "Olive Garden" she had the
biggest smile on her face when the flowers came in.
She really enjoys all her cards and gifts every one is so
thoughtful.

# 1

The last time I saw Lisa it was Saturday. I came in to her room this morning and was greeted by Karen, Parker and Lisa. Lisa was a bit grouchy but got better as time went on. PT came in to work with her. They got her into the wheelchair and wheeled her down to the gym. She stood in the prone stander for 10 minutes. She did very well. Her right knee was wanting to collapse on her, but she did stand, bearing weight on both legs. She said that it felt good. She hasn't stood for a very long time. While standing she worked her shoulders and her arms. She had a smile on her face often. I stood in front of her so she could imitate what I was doing. She got sleepy and tried to close her eyes, but that was not an option:))

She did some transfering from chair to an elevated mat and is getting better. She has a hard time moving her left leg, maybe for fear of falling. The PT said that she is seeing improvement. I can see it too, after not seeing her for a few days. We went back to her room and she sat in a chair for lunch. She loved to be able to sit in a regular old chair. She ate well for me, took forever, but she ate most of her food. While she was eating and almost done I asked her if she prays. She looked intently into my eyes and said yes. I asked her about what, she never took her eyes off me and simply said, "to make my head better" I smiled and said, "me too" We then moved on to her pudding.

After that Speech came in and talked to her and asked her lots of questions about simple things. She showed that she knows what people are talking about, but was not able to answer "Wh" questions but 70% of the time. That could be from the stroke, or from her brain not used to working so hard. She tends to say the last thing that you say like...Lisa, do you want chocolate or vanilla pudding...she will say "pudding" So that is something that we can work on with her. She is somewhat delayed in her responses...she does answer quickly though if it is something she knows like, do you want a drink or what is your favorite drink? We all know that answer!

When speech left, we got her to go to the bathroom...She has still had to be straight cathed...but not today! WooHoo! I got excited when she went #1 and told her that my prayer was just answered...she looked at me kinda funny and had a smirk on her face, the aide saw it too. I told Lisa that you can ask for all sorts of things from God, even to go pee and He answered my prayer. If she could of hit me, she would have. But I don't think that crossed her mind...but I was ready for it:) When she was done, we had her stand up and she wanted to lay on her bed for awhile. So Frannie and I helped her up, with little assistance I might add, and Frannie cleared off her bed. Lisa clung to me and took advantage of both of us standing and gave me a big 1 arm hug. So sweet. As I squeezed back, I almost lost my footing, but caught us both from falling over. We then tried to get over to the bed, she was really trying, and I had to tap on her left leg several times to tell her to move that side...finally she did and she sat on the bed. Once she sat down, in relief, she gave me a big smile and said..."Karla, you did a good job!!!!" She was impressed with me. I laughed and told her "no, YOU did a good job!" We got her situated and comfy and she told me 2 more times what a good job I did.
If I am not mistaken, she was either fishing for a compliment or she was happy I didn't drop her...I am thinkin' it was the latter...but any how, I did good today:) And yes, she did too.

Lisa is loving her cards. She likes looking at all of them in her room. Yes, they are all up! She is smiling more and is improving. I wish I could say that this will be easy, but I can't. There is something in this thing that has happened to her...to us...that is to be learned. I don't know what it is, except that I am so thankful, and so grateful to be going through it with her. It could have been much worse! We will get through it, with lots of help from above and with your support. Until tomorrow!

Card's of the Day

Lisa really liked the hearts that cousin Mike and Amy's children from TX made for her she had a smile on her face. Thank you all for your cards she really enjoys opening them. Every one that walkes into her room they say they have never seen a room with so many cards on the wall, even people that have been there for 3-4 months. We might need a new room soon.

Monday 6-14-10

1st picture is Lisa almost done with dinner.

2nd is Lisa's view outside her window which is IWU field.

3rd is Lisa smiling after she opened a gift from Aunt Vera it's a notepad.

4th is Lisa sitting in front of the nurses station when family is not there to help her eat that's where she is.

5th is taken where she's sitting at the nurses station looking down the hall her room is all the way down to the Right.

6th is the best one yet, I did her nails today. I asked her what color she wanted she couldn't decide so I chose for her. OK well I couldn't decide either. She needed to be colorful :)

Lisa had a good night she was very alert held her head up ate good for dinner. I took her to the bathroom for the first time in her bathroom not in the middle of the room. She went #2 and I was so excited for her. I ended calling for help to get her to bed. Bushed her teeth and washed her face. Off to bed, Delo came in then Dad showed up. That's when I took off.

One Step

It's Karen doing some blogging so I'm going to be short but hopefully as informative as I can be.
I have been going to see Lisa in the AM and the PM over the weekend Sat. and Sun. to help and make sure she eats. I think sometimes over the weekend if no one is around to help her it just not get done. So with that said Lisa ate for me very well, I would put food on her fork just about every time I would have to tell her to put it to her mouth. She makes it every time and is not sloppy so that make it easier for everyone. Before I go home I would help and wash her face and brush her teeth to make sure she has no food in her mouth sometimes she has some so its nice to make sure she all clear.

Monday I went in around 10:00am she was going down to walk the bars, she stood for a good 4min. then sat down and tried to walk but she just cant move her R foot so she couldn't take but 1 step with her good foot. Then she went back to her room and the it was time for OT she had a shower and the OT said she was doing so much better than she did on Sat. they are treating her R side as if she wont get that movement back, teaching her to put deodorant on with her L hand like a monkey just about every day to day stuff with that good hand. As she gains movement in her right side they will work harder with it. So when ever I go in to see her I always work her right side.
She ate well for lunch by herself with a little help for the ST she loves her chocolate pudding always saves that for last. I must say it is very hard to NOT to do everything for her I need to teach myself that she can do it and if she cant let her try again then help so we are all learning to take one step at a time.
I left her and returned to work around 1:00 so Dad could go to lunch. Will be going up to see her tonight to do the nightly things before she goes to bed. Thank heavens for mother in laws so my kids don't get board being at the hospital.
So until then I will blog when I can.
Thanks to all of you for caring and keeping her and us in your prayers. Karen

More Cards...

Lisa Loves Her Cards!

Clockwise from upper left: before shunt, after surgery, squeezing Karen's hand, recovering in her room, me blogging, listening intently to a card written to her, Special Olympics torch runners on and close to Veteran's Parkway for the state games, I LOVE YOU sign, Lisa's new decorated room, Listening to another card with a smile, and the middle one is Lisa bearing weight to get into bed in her new room in the Rehab Unit.

A wonderful smile

Sydney and I met Amy at the hospital this morning to see Lisa. I walked into her room in the neuro unit and found her sitting in a wheelchair smiling at the wall. I looked at her and an instant peace and happiness came to me that I had not felt since May 22nd, the day of  Lisa's 2nd surgery,the day of Lisa's stroke. I was so happy that I could not contain myself and just looked into her eyes and told Lisa how awesome she looked and that I loved her smile. She looked at me and said, "Hi Karla!"

She was happy to see us and was really glad to be sitting up in a chair. We came bearing a gift from a friend and some cards from people she doesn't know. As I read the cards to her, she had a smile on her face and she was intently looking at the cards and listening to what was hand written in them. This is the Lisa that I missed...

I went to the nurses station to ask for a cart so we could load up and take to the 3 floor again. On Tuesday, when I loaded the cart, I took every piece of clothing and folded them neatly, almost methodically and with tears in my eyes. I did not know if I would be bringing them back up, I did not know if I would get to ever put her belongings into "her" bags...the bags that she herself packed for her 7 day stay in Peoria. It was so so hard. I remember tears streaming down my face as I slowly walked down that hallway and the nurses were so concerned, not only for Lisa, but for all of us. They tried to console us, but they could see right through our "I'll be fines."  They were so good to us. To Lisa.

Today, however, the cart was loaded and ready to go and when I went upstairs to find her new room (to decorate, of course) the nurses at the nurses station had welcoming smiles and were so glad that she was coming back! Her nurse was so happy, she was upset on Monday night/Tuesday morning that Lisa was not where she needed to be. I told them that "this is the Lisa that you will love...you will be so surprised when you see her this time..." They didn't understand me. But they will.

Sydney and I found her room, put up all her cards, and took everything off her cart. Amy stayed with Lisa, and brought her up with the nuero nurses and finished decorating with us. Amy the nuero nurse told us that when Lisa was told to stand up and to lay in bed (because she was in her chair for 4 hours) Lisa pulled herself up and used her left side to bear weight and get herself into bed. The nurse told us 2 times that Lisa did that herself, she was just assisting her right side. She was amazed. She was Lisa's nurse just 2 days ago, when Lisa was just out of her 3rd brain surgery. She told us 3 different times to keep the nuero unit informed of Lisa's progress...or they will come up and check themselves. They love her. Who wouldn't. She inspires!

As I was leaving today, I asked Lisa for a hug, well, she held her hand out and I came closer and she gave me the BEST hug ever! I squeezed her just as hard. I told her nurse that Lisa gives the best hugs...Lisa wanted a hug from the nurse, the nurse obliged and clearly loved Lisa's hug. Lisa told her 3 times, "I love hugs!" And you know what???? I forgot to write that on Lisa's poster about what she likes!!! How could I forget HUGS! That is what got her to do her cartwheels, and forward rolls and it is what she got when she won all her medals. That is what will get her through this. HUGS are one of the most important things to Lisa! Physical contact, assurance, acceptance, love...everything is associated to hugs. If that is what she loves, then, that is what everyone needs to give to her.

So, the next time you see her, visit her, or think about her...give her a hug. That will be the ultimate reward for her...not to mention...you too.

Sydney signed "I Love you" to Lisa as we left, Lisa did it back and verbally said it to Sydney. Of course, I had to capture the moment, yes, it was staged...Lisa did it for the camera, but I know that is what she would do for all of those who read this blog...so here you go...

Oh my goodness! As I was coming home, we ran into (two different)  police torch runners for the opening games for the Special Olympics this weekend...I had a tear in my eye as I thought to myself...how fitting...this day of all days...Let me win, but if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt. Lisa is winning and the Special Olympics that helped her so many years ago, is happening this weekend, helping another "Lisa" become someone they would not have been, had it not been for all those coaches and huggers at the end of the race.

Thank you Heavenly Father for the miracles you have given us, thank you for giving us back our Lisa, and thank you for your grace. We don't deserve it. But thank you.

God is Good!

Looking back at these past two weeks...I can honestly and positively say that God carried me and my sisters and Dad through. There is no other way to describe anything. Dad was planning to leave for Red Wing MN on Tuesday, to pick up some pottery for the Anniversary Sale at the West Side Clothing for next month...we are 100 years old this year! But, on Monday when I called him and Amy and Karen and told them that Lisa was worse; plans changed...for each one of us. What was pressing and HAD to get done was not important. Life stood still. Kids still had softball and baseball games, the swimming pool was still calling their names, the store was still opened for business, and all of that still had to happen to keep some kind of normalcy...not only for our families, but for us too. Yet, nothing in our hearts was normal because Lisa was dying. The doctors told us that had she not had her shunt, in 12 hours she would have been gone. She would have died. She was in a coma, and she would not have come out of it.

That is a scary place to be. It was what we faced, yet God kept us from knowing the finality of it all. Wow! I can't tell you how much the power of prayer has done. Had it not been for so many people praying for Lisa, her outcome could have been different. Thank you.

Lisa is remarkable. There is a plan for her still; in this life. She has inspired countless people from the time she was a little girl, she is a beautiful soul. She is still a little girl in her heart and her mind...and that is what makes her so special. She wants to live, she wants to get back to her apartment, back to the Olive Garden, and back to life. She will. You betcha, she will.


This was taken the morning that Lisa was unresponsive. She was so sick. Every time I looked at her, I cried. That was not my sister.

On Her Way Up

Just got a call from Karen. Lisa will be moved back upstairs to "Acute Therapy" mid-morning! GO LISA!

Her grass and sunflowers are growing! It started to grow on Tuesday! I thought is was bitter-sweet that it did not grown when promised(Sunday when she was going downhill). It really did not sprout anything until Tuesday after surgery. Now we have to mow it! It's HUGE! Pretty neat!

Thursday 6-10-10

Lisa and Dolores, Karen, Lisa and Amy, Lisa loves her sunglasses before she goes outside she always has to "put her shades on" because "its bright outside"

Not out of the Woods Yet

WOW! So many up and downs. So much support! Thank you all for every prayer!

Doctor said Lisa is not out of the woods yet. She IS healing quite well after her 3rd brain surgery. She is so much more responsive than than the past couple of days. She has had to endure so much. She actually hit me today. Here is how it went. Ron came in, talked his normal LOUD self and when I went to give her a kiss good-bye, he said, "Just hit her"... SHE DID and totally enjoyed it. She had a smile on her face for 10 minutes. Sisterly Love!

Going Back

I just wanted to share some pictures.

1st picture on Top Left

Parker, Dalton and Lisa this was taken on June 4, 2010. I wanted to go in the morning to make sure that she ate her morning breakfast. Still on puree foods, she was in the hallway and was done eating before I got there. They said they had to help her eat she could not get the spoon to her mouth. The Speech Therapist came and I asked if she wanted us to leave, she was nice we were there to give Lisa something to talk about. This was Friday when she started going downhill, after that day she was getting worse not being able to talk or do anything.

2nd Picture Top Right

Patrick M. Friday May 28, 2010. He lived by us I'm not sure if anyone remember him but at one time he weighed over 350 lbs. Needless to say he has lost over 175 lbs since he moved to Morton. Lisa and him would always hang out in the neighborhood he rode his bike to our house. He never used the peddle he rode the bike with his feet and made motorcycle sounds he was full of it when he visited us at the store, he always called Dad "Bucco" and Dad would always call him 2 ton. He is now 1 ton, Dad missed him and he missed seeing Dad and "Sissa" that is what he always called Lisa.

3rd Picture Bottom Left

Lisa, Friday, May 28, 2010. Lisa just laying in bed tired after a long day of group therapy.

4th Picture Bottom Right

Taken on Monday May 24, 2010. This is called the Grid this is what they laid on her brain for the 1st surgery she had, the tech across the hallway came in and showed us what it looked like. This is 1 of 2 grids that she had on her brain. I thought it was so interesting. They even showed us a picture of the grid on her brain during her surgery, it was cool to see what they did.

On her way

Lisa is back on her way.

This morning Dad went in to see her around 7:30 am. She got a break from visitors until about 11:30ish when Karen went to see her and she was off for another CT scan. She had a party in her room. Karen, Parker, Amy, Aunt Carolyn were all there when Sydney and I came in at 12:00.

She ate a lunch of liquids...she was not thrilled. I helped with the jello and the tea...Amy told me to stop feeding her the non-nutritious  stuff and get to the beef broth...ick! So when Amy went to get the ice for the broth, and I moved over to the other side and let her feed it to her. Amy put it into a cup with a straw and some ice. (ewww) She took a swig and did not like it, I laughed and said, "is it gross?" She answered, "yes, it is gross." Amy told her, "yes, but it is good for you and you need to drink it to get strong"...to which Lisa replied..."I'll do it for you guys, but NO ONE ELSE!" very irritated and pretty much wanted to ignore us. LOL! Amy was relentless. I wasn't gonna have her get mad at me:))  The picture below is the broth drink...as I am reading Lisa all of the emails, and the blog comments.

Lisa is getting back to her opinionated self. She has a way to go, but she is on her way. She looks awesome! I told her that she gave us all a good scare. She just looked forward. I told her that she slept pretty much from Sunday until yesterday. I asked her if she remembered if we were there and she replied "yes, I did."

Dr Katner, and Dr Harvey came in to check her out. She is twitching, which is new. She has been twitching since Sunday and when we asked why, they think it could be seizures, but will do an EEG when she is better from her surgery. She stuck out her tongue and tried to smile for them, she wiggled her toes and looked into their eyes. Her pupils both dilated. Her CT scan came back good. The shunt is in the right place, it is in the 3rd ventricle and is draining as it should. There are no complications at this time. They told us that they are concerned about the twitching but took care of the hydocepholy first. She was in a coma. Dr Katner asked us how long she has had seizures, we told him since she was 9 months old, after contracting encephalitis. He asked us what her seizures looked like and if she had them everyday...no, just a few times a month when we were little and then these past few years, they have gotten more frequent and drop down grand mals, her memory is being affected by them...so that is why she had the surgery. He got a bit of an education about her today. I hope that we can figure out the twitching. I hope it is not a different type of seizure, that is our new fear!

Wednesday

6:15 am
Good Morning, I called to check on Lisa, Nurse Allision said she is doing very well, resting quietly, she is going to try to give her Med's with apple sauce this morning, said she is answering all her questions appropriately.

What a difference a shunt makes...

It is almost 8:00 on Tuesday night. Karen and I are just about ready to leave Lisa for the night...but not without great news!!!!!!!

Lisa's surgery was a success. Amy and Dad were here this afternoon when the resident Dr came in to assess Lisa, he told them that he was going to call Dr Kattner, the neurosurgeon (who wanted to wait until morning) so he could come in and take a look at her right away. As soon as Dr K looked at her, he immediately wanted her in the O.R. It was so fast, that Dad and Amy were amazed! It took less than 10 min. before Lisa left the room after the doctors looked at her. Dad said they even kicked off a couple of people out of the elevator to get her up there. Wow!

The surgery lasted about 1 1/2 hours and they told us she did well. They told us she has a thick skull...yes...we know that, it runs in the family. LOL! thanks Dad (and Mom).

The nurse Jamie, who assessed her when she came down to this floor was here to assess after the surgery.
She asked her to touch her nose, fingers, raise her arm, tell her name, and birthday, etc. Also to wiggle her toes and press against her hands with her feet. Lisa did all that was requested of her. Jamie said out loud several times, "this is amazing!" She was truly amazed and was happy to hear her voice. Lisa was not responsive at all this afternoon. You go Lisa!!!!!

She looks so soooo much better. The doctors said that fluid was flowing pretty steady as soon as the shunt was in place. They told us that this was a life threatening situation and they are happy with her already. One of the doctors came in later to check her out and we thanked him and told him that he was awesome...he wants us to call his wife. LOL! the nurse frowned at us and told us that he already had 1 compliment today...his head will swell.  (He might need a shunt) LOL! we need some humor around here

Oh, the nurse told us that she was told that Lisa was responding and talking in the recovery room, as soon as she was done with the surgery! Yay! We are beside ourselves right now.

She had some visitors while we were here, Karen and Tom. They witnessed her sweetness. When Dad and Dolores left, they told her they would see her tomorrow, her reply was, "I'll be here awhile"  That made us all smile.  

Thank you to Joe, Ron, and Russ. Without you supporting us, we could not be here for Lisa. You have no idea what that means. Thank you.

For tonight, we are thankful. Last night was frightening. But as always, things turn out the way they are supposed to. Thank you God.

Thank you to all of you...for keeping us in your prayers, they are being answered.  Lisa is once again proving  her strength and teaching us to be fighters; as she is, in the process.

Out of Surgery

Shunt Surgery was successful. She just got out of surgery. She has 2-3 days in recovery and hopefully she will be moved back to Acute Rehab.

Still Waiting

Lisa is still in surgery, no news....................4:38pm

Emergency Surgery 2:30 6/8/10

Lisa, Tuesday morning before leaving 

rehab unit...totally out!

Lisa is having surgery right now in Bloomington at Bro-Menn. She has "Hydrocephalus" which is a build up of fluid inside the skull, leading to brain swelling. AKA: "Water on the Brain".

The treatment or the most common surgery for the treatment of hydrocephalus (water on the brain), is the insertion of a shunt - a device that diverts fluid from the brain into the abdominal cavity where it is safely absorbed into the blood stream. Though a shunt may be inserted in infants, children and adults, the procedure is essentially the same regardless of the size of the patient. I copied this from yoursurgery.com.

Lisa has been in a comatosed state since late Sunday night. She has been in a unit of the hospital called "Acute Rehab". We felt since she was comotized state we wanted her moved to the Neuro to figure out what is happening.

Lisa was checked out of rehab at 12 and in Surgery at 2:30.

Please keep Lisa in your prayers! Please pray for the the surgeon (Dr. Katner), the nurses and the whole surgical team. Pray for Dad too. He's really having a rough time today.

Mumbled Words

Today, I have to say, was not the best day for Lisa. What is going on? The nurses are amazing and caring. They are not used to this "State of Lisa". They want answers and are googling anything for any information how to treat her.

Her only words today were to Aunt Vera (LOVE YOU THX for Calling), Karla and Karen (in that order). They were so mumbled, but so clear that they knew what she was saying.

For the most part today Lisa is silent and it is scary. She is in deep sedation. I got a call this morning from Karla and Karen today that she is not responding to anyone. For me, I thought... "Hey, I'll come and everything will be better"... I'm highly positive... until I spent over 10 hours next to her, holding her hand, watching episode after episode of "Wife swap". My ego is crushed :(

Lisa Loves her sister's. THAT IS FOR SURE! SHE LOVES DAD and DOLORES.. that is for sure!! She LOVES her family and friends, THAT IS FOR SURE... Thank you to everyone who came today, yesterday and tomorrow! She is so strong that it took everything for her to squeeze my hand to acknowledge her appreciation for everyone who came by today.. NURSES INCLUDED!

She will stay for now

Before I left this morning, I stopped at the nurses station. Kim informed me that Paul, the director of Rehab at the hospital, personally took Lisa's CT scan pictures over to OSF St Joe's across town so they could load it into their database. They will be able to get it to Dr Tracy faster than we can and within 2 hours we will know what to do...around 12:30.

I am calling and talking to Karen, Amy, and Joe, Dad and Ron about everything. I call the nurses station at 12:30. No word yet...then I called Karen about 1:00. She just was going to call me.

the plan is this:

Lisa will stay in her room for tonight.
Dr Tracy will put Lisa on a steroid IV
if there is no improvement by morning, she will be going back to Peoria.

Amy got to the hospital this afternoon while Karen was there. Karen took her boys over to her mom in laws house so she could be with Lisa. Amy came over when she got done with showing a rental...it is all good. You really figure out what is important when something that is beyond your control happens. Things that were pressing, or causing you stress, really don't matter. It is people and it is life that matters. For us...it is Lisa that matters. We will be fine. God is in control.

Thank you for your continued prayers, for your support, your gifts and cards. Thank you for caring for Lisa.

Bumpy Road

Lisa's road to recovery is proving to be a bumpy ride..a really bumpy ride. 

I went to see her on Saturday, and thought that she was not as perky as Thursday when I last saw her. Sunday, after church, she was laying on her side and was very sleepy...what's up? Today, I went to see her after I dropped off the kids at VBS and came in to her laying on her back, and shifted over to the side. She was almost comatose. Aaron, is her nurse. He told me that for an hour he tried to wake her up. She is not responding to him at all. He told me he sang songs to her, put damp cloths on her face, tried to stimulate her by putting her ankle brace on and just trying...all to no avail. I walked to the nurses station and talked to Kim...she looked at the Dr who stood up and walked over to me and told me of their concerns. Lisa had a CT scan to figure out if there is something going on in her brain. She told me she thinks that Lisa has fluid building up on her brain and wanted Dr Tracy to take a look. Dr Tracy didn't seem concerned about it, but Lisa's rehab Dr was not going to settle for that. She said that she wanted him to compare his CT scan to hers...in order for him to see it she could FedEx it or we could take it to Peoria...we will take it, when it is ready.

I walk in to the room and start talking to her...she is laying there with her eyes closed and her face toward the window. Totally out! Sleeping. As I am talking to her, she is not responding to anything I am saying...usually she says "hi Karla" nothing. I take her face into my hands and start moving her head and teasing her that she is ignoring me. She mumbles something but I cannot make it out. Aaron walks in and he is listening to me talk to Lisa. He is worried about her, and decides to pull in his computer to do his charting for all his other patients in Lisa's room. I talk to him about Lisa, her accomplishments, her fear (of not a stroke, or dying, but) of not remembering how to get to Park View Inn. I am trying to be positive, but I am finding it nearly impossible at this point. Aaron told me that he is scared too.

I am standing close to Lisa, practically on top of her talking to her, teasing her, asking her questions, she answered a few of them and Aaron was happy that she did. He told me that was the first he had heard her say. It was very weak, and mumbled and I had to get close to hear it, but she responded appropriately to my questions. She coughed too. That was good. Aaron has not been able to give her any medications, the nurses don't want her to choke.

Dr Somerlin told me that if there is fluid on her brain, Lisa will be transported back to St Francis to have a shunt put in to take the fluid out. I am totally fine with that, not scared about it at all, know several kids and adults who have had that done. It is common among the population that I have worked with. Just do something!

Dr Somerlin came into the room to talk to me, she said, "I know how hard this is for all of you...but don't give up...we thought that this was a post op thing with her, that she would pull out of this...clearly, she is not getting better and we will figure this out. Once we do, we could see her bounce back and be ready to get to work and do really well...We will figure this out." I am holding on to Lisa's hand and she is squeezing it from time to time. I have tears in my eyes as the Dr is talking to me. I just say thank you.

It is just me and Lisa in the room and I keep telling her that when she wakes up, she will work hard to go back home. She squeezed my hand. I told her that we are going to help her to get better, to get out of the hospital, she mumbles "good".

It is hard to see her just laying there. She needs prayers to heal her. I have to go to pick up my kids at VBS...Karen will be here and Amy is coming from Champaign to be with her. She will be fine. We just pray that it is soon.

Group Therapy

Lisa's Pot - promised to grow by Sunday :)

I was fortunate to get the chance to walk in on "Group Therapy" during Lisa's OT time. What fun everyone was having! Today, a group of 8 Acute Therapy patients were painting flower pots. Lisa's pot was the best! It matched her toes and nails! She was quite proficient in painting her pot. She did not get a single paint stain on her. After her pot was painted, she had to fill it up with soil. The Therapist asked Lisa to mix the 2 different soils. She took a spoon and mixed it all up. I told them she makes the best mac-n-cheese from scratch, so she did just that, she got out all the clumps and stirred away. After the mixing, the seeds were added. She wanted grass, they found "Oat Grass" which should grow by Sunday (I'm watching), then she wanted sunflowers, so we added that. Then the fun part came. H2O... I asked Lisa if she wanted me to pour it, she said "YES", the Therapist said, "NO", "she can do it"... ahhh.. I'm so glad they were listening, my motherly instincts kicked in. I saw how tired she was and I was so eager to help her. Or Not!

We had fun today. An official "Volunteer Poodle" came to visit, I swear I knew the parents, but was having so much fun watching Lisa enjoy the poodle, I didn't get the chance to ask where we knew them. Lisa loved that poodle! Then I found out a Therapist/Intern who lives in the Champaign/Urbana area, babysits for a good friend of mine. So Wendy B., if you are reading, I met your babysitter! She was awesome! She's moving out of state, but loved babysitting your kids until she had to work(commute) 6 days a week!



Back to Lisa... You are getting stronger everyday! YOU WILL get stronger everyday! You didn't have a fever today and you were able to go potty ONCE w/o catheterization. You ate more today than yesterday and you drank more fluids. You may/will have set-backs, but we will be there for you for every victory and set back. I enjoyed watching Wheel-of-Fortune with you (Vanna hasn't aged a-bit, well a little, but I hope to age like her) and I enjoyed giving you a facial and back massages. You're the best sister ever! You have taught me compassion to the fullest extent. Mom always told me "Never feel sorry for Lisa, she can do more than anyone you know"! I'm holding on to that with tears in my eyes. It's been about 25 years since I have felt sorry for someone(Lisa), and Moms words are still a driving force for me. She didn't say much, but when she did, it was GOLD!

The best motto ever "Let me win, but if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt!" Special Olympics Motto. Lisa, you are a champ in everything you do. The nurses are rooting for you, the Doctors, your friends, your aunts, your uncles, your nieces, nephews, and your family! You do have the best room ever and everyone who visits and cares for you feels it too!

I would not be able to spend the time I have been with Lisa these past days if it wasn't for my sister-in-law and brother-in-law Kevin & Renee. Renee has always asked me me to allow my kids to visit for an extended period of time with her in Memphis. Caleb and Olivia are having the time of their lives and creating the best memories ever. Thanks Renee and Kevin! Just remember, call when you want me to pick them up :) They love you dearly and so do I!

CARD(s) of the Day

Peek-a-Boo

Lisa is s l o w l y gaining her strength. She was able to hold her neck up today without much help. She still needs reminders to sit up, but she is getting stronger! I was able to get her to breath in her pin-wheel quite a bit today, and give her lots of massages. She loves her back massages! Needless to say, I need one after all that. I worked alot on her left eye. It doesn't seem to open. We played Peek-a-Boo with it. I would open it up with my fingers and say "Peek-a-Boo". By the time Dad came about 7pm, she was able to open it 1/4! GO LISA! Man I wish I was here EVERYDAY to help her. She didn't eat too much, but she did get down alot of liquids. She loves Strawberry Ensure Shakes. We are trying to wean her off Diet Pepsi except for special occasions, like finshing her Ensure!

Dad brought lots of cards which she LOVES! Click here for address! She opened every card by herself. Picture it this way. She uses her right arm(which isn't moving yet) to stabalize the envelope, tears the envelope with her left hand, pulls out the card with her left hand, holds it up, looks at it very intently, and finally hands it to one of us to read it to her. Her OT today said she is not recognizing shapes yet, which means her sight isn't improving. We had a heart-2-heart about it. She told me(again) when her eye starts working, she won't be so tired. I told her "Lisa, that may be true, but remember when Mom went blind in one eye?" She said "yes" and had a tear in her eye. I told her, "your eyesight may or may not come back, but we want you to try to get eveything else working in spite of that, so if it does come back you will be ready!" She totally understood and promised that she will continue to try.

The nurses are amazed on how much prayers and support she is recieving. Everyone is rooting for her and she feels it. Her room is filled with cards and gifts.

Encouraged

I was able to spend about 3 hours with Lisa today. I was pleasantly surprised to see her without her neck brace, sitting taller than she has been in a wheelchair. She was talking to the nurse and was doing really great today. I was encouraged!

I talked to some people at Champion Fitness, here in LeRoy, who explained to me abit about Lisa's stroke. It is very good that it was a blood clot and not a hemorrhage. They were concerned about the meds and told me to check into that. They also told me to physically stimulate Lisa's right side whenever I am there. So...whenever you go to see her, pick up her hand and massage it and bend her arm to her shoulder...the more stim she gets in these early months of therapy, the (much) better she will recover...and faster. Bend her fingers and do range of motion with her right side.You cannot hurt her. Stand on her right side, to make her work to look at you. I showed Lisa how to bend her wrist with her left hand and told her that that will help her wake it up, so whenever she thinks about it, she can reach for it and help herself get better. Can I tell you how much she did??? She grabbed her hand and started to work her wrist and stopped after a few minutes! She picked it up again, without me telling her to, to work it again. I was so proud and told her that she is so awesome to keep it up!

Joe and the kids came up and Ron, our brother-in-law came up to see her. She was getting tired but carried on conversations with us. The therapists at Champion told me that when a stroke patient is recovering, their nerves hurt and when they are doing simple exercises that hurt them, that is good because the nerves are waking up again.

This will take a long time, possibly 1 1/2 years to be recovered from a stroke...our family will not be able to do it alone, this is where everyone who knows her and comes to see her will come into play. She CANNOT get discouraged. She will be doomed! Every single small step she makes will need to be encouraged. She thrives on physical and verbal praises-who doesn't-I suppose. She has received 75 plus cards and she remembers each one she sees. She has received some repeat cards from different people and told me today that she already has a card like that one...Ha! When asked if we should stop giving her cards she replied, "No"  We read them to her and she still replies how sweet it was of so and so to send them.

Lisa will continue to need everyone. Any one who has ever known her plays an important role in her life, even if you don't think so. Your visits are so important, no matter if she remembers them or not. Please know that it is not in vane...Dad, Amy, Karen and I are not able to be with her as much as we would like and when we are not there, we thank you for stopping by...well, thanks for stopping when we are there too:) The sign in notebook helps us to know who was and reminds her that you were there too.

Thank you for your prayers too. Lisa is starting to get better and stronger each day. It is only in God's grace that I am able to be encouraged (for) today.

Requests

Today I was not able to see Lisa, Joe went instead. He saw her in the hallway and called me. She said she could not see him and she did not want to talk to me...that was pretty funny to me, didn't hurt my feelings at all, in fact, it is kinda normal...when she doesn't want to hear what I have to say. LOL! He said that he does not see any changes in her at all and really had nothing to say except that he doesn't know...doesn't know how to take all of this, I suppose, or just doesn't know why no one is working the way we expect them to...you know, because it is someone that WE love. No one can take care of someone the way that you yourself can, if it is your family. It hurts and it is frustrating.

Karen talked to the doctor today, had many questions for her and got a few answers...

• do you see progress?
• why is she still so tired all the time?
• is the Ritalin helping her and how long does it take to take effect?
• will her left eye open again?
• How long will this take? 
• why is there a bruise on the underside of her forearm?
• ...is there hope?

The doctor said that Lisa is not making the progress that they hoped she would, they don't know why she is so tired, it could be the interactions between her seizure meds and the Ritalin which are natural counter actors.  Give it another week she told Karen. But isn't it critical in the very beginning of a stroke victim to see improvement early on to determine the outcome??? Lisa is having to be straight cathed these past few days because she can't urinate...but she was able to for 3 days after her catheter came out. She has had a low grade fever since her stroke that goes away with Tylenol...she might have pneumonia but only when we come in and make her blow on her pin wheel does she get that done...We need a miracle here.

The bruise could be from someone being too rough with her arm...or from it dangling since she can not lift it. The Ritalin does not take very long to start working, like 1 or 2 doses. She has had at least 4 doses now. Lisa is so appreciative when someone comes in the room to do anything, is polite and pleasant and my guess is she thanks them, at least that is what I have witnessed.

Nursing is very hard work. I am not saying it isn't, there is so much paper work to do and many technical tasks must be done...but when someone can not see where their spoon is to pick it up or scoop food onto their spoon to get it to their mouth, I find that frustrating. We try to be there when she eats to make sure she eats.

I am complaining. Forgive me. I need to be thankful that she is here for me to still care for. I know that. Karen and I were talking tonight and we are realizing that we are in for a fight, like mom did so many years ago...a fight to do and to make sure Lisa gets the best care that she is able. We are up for it...but it will cost us. What? We really don't know. But nothing will prevent us, Amy included, from helping Lisa to get all that she deserves. She is our oldest sister, never a sibling, and never a burden, it is what we have always done, it is what mom and dad taught us to do. It is all we know.

Lisa, you never gave up on any of your accomplishments. We will never give up on you. Keep your chin up, and help us to do the same. God, give us strength.