The "R" word

When we were little, Mom and Dad made sure we as a family, did not use the "R" word. Lisa was brain-damaged. Her brain got too hot when she had a high fever, and it became damaged. I can't remember a time that I used that word.  If it came out of my mouth, it probably would have felt like a cuss word, the four letter kind. I absolutely still feel that way today. It is just not nice, and I hear many adults using it and it just makes me cringe, and sad at the same time. They just don't understand.


As of late, 2 of my children have been very upset with the "R" word. A few months back one of them said it innocently, not knowing what it meant. They have heard it before. As soon as I heard it, I immediately brought all 3 of them together and had a talk with them. The "R" word, RETARDED is never to be used in my presence (that goes for their friends too) and should NEVER be used to describe someone else or their actions...never. I asked them if they knew what the word meant, "No" was their reply. I explained that a long time ago, when I was their age that is what people used to call people who were like Aunt Lisa. Well, they really got mad when they heard that. I told them that it is a word that we as a family should never say and that it is disrespectful to many, many people who are slower than us.


Sydney has complained that her close friends have used it and when she asked them not to, they continue to try to upset her...Well, my boy, Chase, is someone who hates the injustice of people and voices his opinion out loud about it. There have been many kids in his class that use that word in everyday language. I'm thinkin' it's just to tick him off! That hurts me...it hurts Chase, I think. He has told them not to use that word, as does another boy in his class, because that is what his aunt is...(I explained that one well). The other boy chimed in and said that he has 2 uncles who are mentally handicapped. So, problem solved.


Not really, the kids in the classrooms still use that word, more than ever, and  my older kids both continue to request they not use the word. To no avail. I am sorry. I feel sorry for my kids to hear it, for their friends to keep using the word and for all the adults who don't have someone in their life who is mentally challenged...because, ultimately,that is where it starts.
I just hope that what I am trying to teach at home makes sense to them and that they realize how words hurt, not only those being offended, but to those who have no clue that they are being offended.