Have you ever?

Saturday, May 22, 8:00 am. Surgery is tentatively scheduled.

Have you ever wanted something so much that when you didn't get it, or things didn't go as anticipated, or as planned, that you just felt like the whole world is worthless? That is how I felt this morning. When Joe called me to tell me the surgery was called off; I was shocked! This couldn't be happening. I hurried up and called Karen, and Amy and had Karen call our pastor and Dad and I needed to blog about it so others would know and would be able to keep the prayers coming. This was before I walked out the door to take the kids to school and to go to Michele's full day field trip for part of the day. She was happy I could come, but didn't care (didn't show that she cared) if I was there. That is how she is. It's all good.


I remember when Dad was going to have surgery a few years back, for his hip, but they did a heart test first and we were anticipating the results at any minute. When he got the call at home that the surgery was called off, I was with him...why? I have no idea...but he put his hands over his face and would not let a tear fall...but he wanted it to. I remember feeling so incredibly bad for him and I cried for him. He wanted his hip surgery so bad, because he was in such pain.


I have been wanting this for Lisa for a long time. I don't know how much Lisa has wanted this, I never will, but I wanted her to not have seizures, because she doesn't want to have seizures. Mom and Dad didn't want her to have seizures. So once again, God is teaching us something. He and He alone is in total control. Lisa doesn't understand it, I don't understand it, but God does and that is enough.


My favorite scripture verse is from Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding..." God knows whats up, He knows what she can handle and knows what is the very best for her. She is in His hands because He loves her more than we do. So we will wait. We will wait for the spot on her lung to go away and we will pray that everything will happen in God's perfect timing. It always does. It always will.